- Nine out of 10 children have viewed pornography. (www.enough.org)
- Children as young as seven are viewing pornography online. (British Board of Film Classification Major Investigation)
- Visits to pornhub totaled $33.5 billion over the course of 2018. (www.enough.org)
- Children under the age of 10 now account for 1 in 10 visitors to porn sites. (British Journal of School Nursing)
I remember the first time I heard these statistics - I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing...sadly, while disturbing, these statistics aren’t surprising to me anymore. What I find truly heartbreaking is the complete lack of awareness by many parents and educators.
The truth is that the porn industry is teaching our children sex education. “Pornography can be thought of as all sexually explicit material intended primarily to arouse the reader, viewer or listener” (www.internetsafety101.org)
Tim Lordan, Executive Director and General Counsel at the Internet Education Foundation says, “Parents have to get involved. Just as they know every detail of the playground around the corner - the jungle gym, the swings - they need to know the kids’ online playground as well.” If we fail to understand the wide spreading access, impression and devastating impact the porn industry is having on the next generation of children and youth, we are failing as a society in our mission to protect children and prevent harm.
The truth is, “In 1993, when internet pornography became public, there was this huge shift; that protective barrier between the sex industry and youth dissolved. There use to be restricted movie houses, order catalogues with brown paper that came in the mail, and all those types of things, where a youth had a difficult time, if not impossible time, accessing pornography. Now, through the internet, if you have the Internet, you have pornography in your home.” - Jill Manning, Ph.D., Marriage and Family Therapist
So how is the porn industry filling in for sexual education?
As much as we’d like to avoid talking about this, people, even young children, are naturally curious about relationships, body parts, sex and as their bodies develop, their natural sexuality is also developing. Furthermore, adolescents also do not typically share experiences that they are embarrassed or ashamed of, they will make errors in judgement. Trusting your child does not necessarily mean trusting others or the internet.
“We can’t, on the one hand, say we don’t want to talk with young children about sexuality, while on the other hand do nothing about the multi-billion dollar pornography industry and the telecommunications industry that is enabling access.” -Gemma McKibbin, Ph.D. Candidate at the University of Melbourne.
It’s critical that we understand that the porn industry intentionally targets minors simply because it is a business. They know that the younger they can gain viewers the longer they will have a paying customer. Children are intentionally targeted through free teaser images, innocent word searches, misspelled words, stealth sites, cartoon characters and child icons, pop-ups and ad banners, free flash games, email spam, mouse trapping, looping and porn-napping. For example, a number of years ago a well known porn site purchased a url with the word “disney” with a common misspelling. Who exactly do you think they were targeting?
“Porn has become a cultural mediator in how young people are understanding and experiencing sex… porn is our most prominent sex educator.” - Australian Researchers Macree Cabbe and David Corlett reported in The Telegraph.
Even more disturbingly, the porn industry knows that young people have legitimate questions about sex and feel uncomfortable asking their parents these questions. So many major porn sites have begun offering what looks like legitimate, science-based educational resources.
In August 2019, Pornhub, the world’s most popular free porn site, launched its own online platform completely dedicated to education and advice for sexuality, sexual health and relationships - namely, the Sexual Wellness Center.
“As a leading provider of adult entertainment, we thought it’s important that we also offer a platform on which carefully sourced information about all aspects of sexuality be made available to our viewers...our hope is that our readers will find the website to be accessible, educational, and entertaining.” - Pornhub says about their new Sexual Wellness Center resource.
“What happens when a site that gets millions of views every day for videos that show unhealthy sexual practices and even abusive, violent content (real or fictionalized, though how can you really know?) becomes a trusted authority on questions about sex for kids that might not even be of legal age to visit most of the site? It’s not only a contradiction, it’s ultimately a trap. As we know about the porn industry, it really is all about the money” says fightthenewdrug.org.
Dr. Nita Laundry, M.D. OB/GYN on The Doctor’s TV show, acknowledges that parents are often falling short when it comes to teaching kids about sex, saying, “the porn industry is capitalizing on our failures and they’re saying ‘hey come over here, your parents don’t understand, but we’ll educate you here, and if you happen to click on one of those links on the site, that’s fine, but look at all these good facts we have.’”
Is it entirely possible that the porn industry actually wants to provide an educational resource, yes. However, as fightthenewdrug.org says, “it’s difficult to overlook all the harmful content on Pornhub and how it actively plays a role in warping consumers’ preceptions on sex, consent and healthy relationships. The fact that hardcore porn featuring suggested searches as ‘punishing teen’ and ‘crying gangbang’ are just one click away from a link on the center’s home page - with no 18+ or older button - is of serious concern.”
Even children are mistaking the porn industry as a resource for education. According to the National Union of Students (www.nus.org.uk), 60% of students surveyed said they watch porn in order to learn about sex and to fill in gaps in their sexual education. The big problem with this is that 53% of boys believed that the porn they had seen was realistic. They believed that porn is an accurate depiction of sex and sexuality (The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Survey).
The challenge with allowing the porn industry to educate our children is that there are serious harmful effects on children’s mental, physical, and sexual development. Children learn through imitation - if they are watching pornography, it’s understandable they would want to act out sexually. There are negative impacts on the emotional and mental health of children, as it fosters ‘mis-information,’ diminishes sexual satisfaction, teaches that ‘adult entertainment’ is normal, creates desensitization, facilitates aggression and can lead to the objectification of people (internetsafety101.org).
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children’s study revealed, “Unsurprisingly, the effects of watching porn on the young boy was readily apparent. Many boys revealed that they wanted to copy the behaviour they had seen watching porn.”
Physically, porn affects a child’s brain development and can lead to addictions. According to Simone Kuühn, PhD and Juürgen Gallinat, PhD in the JAMA Psychiatry Journal, Brain Structure and Functioninal Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption, “as hours of reported pornography use increases, the amount of grey matter in the brain decreases.” Teens are also at a greater risk of addictions, as their brains are still developing.
If parents and educators desire to prevent pornography addictions they must start early and start the conversation with children.
Rene, a mother of an internet pornography victim, says “Be alert. Be aware. It could happen in your own home, when you least expect it.”
Prevention is key, prevention is protection. Establishing a family contract, family rules and subsequent consequences are a great start. Parents and educators can also surf with children, place technology in open rooms, be the keeper of the passwords, use computer monitoring software, and ensure that children and youth do not use technology at night. Teaching children how to be good digital citizens by following site age restrictions (for example on social media), paying close attention to credit cards, checking computer history and using safe search engines will also make a difference.
“If I was a parent, I’d want to establish that relationship with my kids and to actually be honest with them and talk to them, and say, ‘I went through this, and even seeing pornography once can just hurt so much. Seeing little pictures can put all these things in your mind.’ It’s just horrible.” - Aaron, Age 19
Internetsafety101.org, fightthenewdrug.org and enoughisenough.org provide helpful resources for parents and educators as well as conversation starters. Asking questions and providing a shame and judgement-free zone provides children the opportunity to ask questions and receive age-appropriate answers from trusted adults instead of receiving those answers from the porn industry.
“If kids feel their parents are open to listening to their struggles or questions, they’ll be more likely to approach the subject whenever it comes up instead of hiding their curiosity and searching for answers on their own in the wrong places… fundamentally, when it comes to sex and love, porn is an unhealthy, damaging, and fantastical representation. Why should we allow this industry to teach our children about sex? After all, ‘teaching sex ed’ is a popular category of actual porn itself, so the barriers between legitimate sexual wellness content and actual pornography are blurred lines at best. No amount of sex advice can undo the harmful sexploitation they profit from daily...bottom line? A healthy understanding of sex is great, porn is not. Don’t look to a porn site for solid sex advice, whether it be from their videos or ‘wellness’ center.” www.fightthenewdrug.org.
Let’s take back our kid’s sex education...because asking the porn industry to provide sex education is like asking the fast food industy to provide diet advice. It just doesn’t make sense.
*Previously published in PROTECT publication issue 5.